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View Full Version : Need a male's point of view...



**DONOTDELETE**
05-17-2002, 05:15 PM
Ok, so here's the deal. This issue keeps coming up and I need to resolve it. Why do guys assume that you are a certain way just because of what you look like? Do guys treat girls (as opposed to other guys)differently just because of what they look like? Also, a guy who whistles at you as they drive past.... what does a male pull away from that experience? It's not like they are ever going to see you again or get your number, by the time the girl has stopped giving them the bird, they are well beyond the next stop light.
This semester I topped my Economics class and some guy came up to me and said that the only reason I was doing so well was because "the professor thinks you are hot" WTF?
Now I am not saying that all guys are shallow or anything, not at all. But can someone offer me a legitimate guys' point of view?

sil40sx
05-17-2002, 05:36 PM
people are stupid

nayR
05-17-2002, 05:44 PM
I would personally not use the whistling method.. But, think of it like this.. They are paying you a compliment
would you rather them yell out "Hey you fat pig, get off the street"?
No, you would chase after them and kill them for that..

think of it as a compliment
http://www.freshalloy.com/

The_Chosen_One
05-17-2002, 05:50 PM
Hey Nissanfreak5, why not just accept the fact that men are just as hard to understand by women, as you all are to us. http://www.freshalloy.com/

Mav1178
05-17-2002, 06:01 PM
Some folks just can't use anything but their balls for judgement purposes.

-alex

Meeks32
05-17-2002, 06:07 PM
Why do women care what kinda car a guy drives? or how much money he makes? etc? Women are just as bad as guys.

MiamiGrinch240
05-17-2002, 06:15 PM
Originally posted by nayR:
I would personally not use the whistling method.. But, think of it like this.. They are paying you a compliment
would you rather them yell out "Hey you fat pig, get off the street"?
No, you would chase after them and kill them for that..

think of it as a compliment
http://www.freshalloy.com/ <font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial[/img]This is true. We are just having fun, we are guys. That is what we do. Some girls like it, some don't.

**DONOTDELETE**
05-17-2002, 07:03 PM
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Meeks32:
[QB]Why do women care what kinda car a guy drives? or how much money he makes? etc? Women are just as bad as guys.

I would like to qualify. Some women are as bad as guys not all. None of my girlfriends have ever said to me that they care what kind of car a guy drives. Not every girl is a golddigger and you might find this surprising but there are plenty of male golddiggers out there too.

SilverSleeper
05-17-2002, 07:26 PM
Most people are no different than little kids,

**DONOTDELETE**
05-17-2002, 07:47 PM
Originally posted by nissanfreak5:
I would like to qualify. Some women are as bad as guys not all. None of my girlfriends have ever said to me that they care what kind of car a guy drives. Not every girl is a golddigger and you might find this surprising but there are plenty of male golddiggers out there too.<font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial[/img]The same is true of guys. Some guys whistle at girls, some guys think of a girl a certain way by the way they dress, and some guys do other shallow things -- but not all. None of my guy friends has whistled at a girl while driving by (although some have pulled over in hopes of starting a conversation.) I have guy friends that don't think a girl is a certain type of girl just because of the way she dresses, either. Some people, male and female, are jerks.

AZ_Dave
05-17-2002, 08:16 PM
To quote Jerry Seinfeld..."This is the best we've come up with" (whistling at girls)

**DONOTDELETE**
05-17-2002, 08:19 PM
Originally posted by nissanfreak5:
But can someone offer me a legitimate guys' point of view?<font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial[/img]I think the best way to look at it is not a guys or girls point of view, but as a people point of view. Some people are just more considerate than other people are. Being male or female doesn't matter. The person in your economics class was probably just jelous that you got a better grade.

In my engineering statistics class there was this girl who never seemed to pay attention and was always talking with the frat boys in the class. She watched tv with the frat boys on a portable and never paid attention, but when we got the finals back I saw her paper and she had 100%. I didn't automatically think she was sleeping with the teacher. Like the rest of us she probably just studied hard and did her homework. Most of us thought the class was boring and didn't pay attention, but attendance was part of your grade. Wish i would have thought of bringing in a portable tv. Wish i had a portable tv then. http://www.freshalloy.com/

Not sure why some guys whistle at girls. Seems silly to me. I think a better way would be to just smile. If she smiles back and looks interested then great. If not then you are not out anything and you don't look like an *** .

just my $0.02

tatsuo2k
05-18-2002, 02:05 AM
Right on the money, sumabon..

Nissanfreak, the simple matter of the fact is some people are as*holes.. Nothing you can do about it.. I have a girlfriend, yet I flirt all the time.. And it stays at that..

We have been dating for nearly seven years(don't ask about marriage) and we have never cheated on each other.. Yes, on our own we like to have fun, and we like to have fun together as well..

I find that flirting with other girls makes a conversation more fun.. Maybe I'm a superficial prick, maybe not.. Frankly, I don't care cause I am who I am and the people who love me(read: 2 people http://www.freshalloy.com/ ) know it.. I don't go around whistling or croch-grabbing(that is just really lame) but I do engage in flirty conversation..

And not to brag, but most of my female friends flirt back.. It's an engaging way to conversate for us.. Some like it, some don't.. The ones that don't, well we talk about other things but the conversation just isn't as interesting/fun..

To me, I'm attracted to the opposite sex(female).. So yeah, maybe deep down I am thinking with my balls.. But I never completely bought into the Freudian BS anyway.. http://www.freshalloy.com/

**DONOTDELETE**
05-18-2002, 10:54 AM
Women need to take a certain responsibility when choosing their clothing. Tight shirts, daisy dukes, tight jeans or short skirts all invoke certain animal instincts within a male, call it a trait that is intrinsically inferior or a sign of a less evolved sex, but these primitive instincts are hard to control. Carelessly dressing this way will only lead to negative outcomes. One wouldn't flash a red tablecloth in front of a bull. If one did, the blame would be not on the bull but on the person carelessly flashing a red cloth.

Although men are rational creatures whereas the bull is not, the primitive feelings that a man gets from this blatant sex appeal can sometimes overcome rationality. It is this that can lead to quick judgments, harassment or in some cases, rape.
Women do have a right to dress anyway they so please, but a certain responsibility must be held. We have a right to drink alcohol, but it's our responsibility to make sure we don’t over drink.

Sumabon,

I thought this was a reasonable response until I read: "It is this that can lead to quick judgments, harassment or in some cases, rape. "
I really hope you didn't mean this. This is going back to the 'asking for it' theory which is a load of BS. Sure, some girls dress slutty but in no way is any girl hoping to be raped or sexually violated.
In a similar vein, if I get angry in an argument and start voicing my opinion, am I asking to be hit or beaten up?
Interviews with rapists have established that rape is not about SEXUAL appetite, but rather for a man's twisted need for power. Thus, dressing in a sexually provocative way is not relevant when it comes to rape. Many victims of rape are dressed like the girl next door. The 'asking for it' premise is unacceptable.

**DONOTDELETE**
05-18-2002, 02:56 PM
http://www.freshalloy.com/
Guys are dummies, "shush", don't tell everyone.


Originally posted by s13sr20:
To quote Jerry Seinfeld..."This is the best we've come up with" (whistling at girls)<font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial[/img]

**DONOTDELETE**
05-18-2002, 09:03 PM
I resemble that remark.

**DONOTDELETE**
05-19-2002, 02:56 AM
Since no one else wants to say it, i will. The reason that a girl is judged by the way she looks is because 90% of the time it is an accurate reflection of that girl. Before any females get their panties in a bunch, I go to a school with a 6 to 1 girl to guy ratio. I would say the assumptions that I and my friends make about girls are almost unanimously correct, and when we are wrong, they girl tells us to f*ck off, and thats just as fun. I agree with one thing said though, whisteling at chics is a b*tch move, if you want the girl to notice you and you think she is hot, make a move big boy, dont drive by, whistle, then pop back in the window of your friends car and giggle with them like a bunch of unevolved 2nd graders. Sorry if my post offends anyone, just my .02cents.
But to the original poster, you cant tell me a girl wearing a baby t and some short *** skirt isnt looking for attention, especially at the car shows i go to when its 40 freakin degress outside. Same goes for guys who wear cut of shirts to show off their guns or their tats. Same ish, different smell.

**DONOTDELETE**
05-19-2002, 05:19 PM
glad to see i got some support, i was actually expecting to get bashed. it seemed like all the guys were kissin her *** to make her happy. you may be a very nice girl, and i dont think you are half as naive as you are acting. Here is another, more poiniant example. If i am fully decked out in a white triangle hat with two eye holes punched in it dawning a full white gown, should i be offended if an African American calls me a racist honkey. Hell no, i am totally conveying my thoughts through imagery, manifested through clothing. Its really not hard to dress conservative. (by the way i am in no way a white racist, i am in fact a latino.)

**DONOTDELETE**
05-19-2002, 05:25 PM
[QUOTE]Originally posted by mikemajesty:
[QB]glad to see i got some support, i was actually expecting to get bashed. it seemed like all the guys were kissin her *** to make her happy. you may be a very nice girl, and i dont think you are half as naive as you are acting. Here is another, more poiniant example. If i am fully decked out in a white triangle hat with two eye holes punched in it dawning a full white gown, should i be offended if an African American calls me a racist honkey. Hell no, i am totally conveying my thoughts through imagery, manifested through clothing. Its really not hard to dress conservative. (by the way i am in no way a white racist, i am in fact a latino.)

By asking for guys' opinions I am acting naive? What have I said so far that portrays me as 'naive'? As for guys kissing my *** as you say, who has been kissing my ***? So far I see a bunch of posts from guys giving their opinion on the topic that I began. If you think that the guys on this forum are so stupid as to kiss my *** just to make me happy, then I think you have just undermined and underestimated every single response to this thread. As for me being a 'nice girl' or 'naive' or whatever, can you judge that from the posts I have made on this forum? Give me a break. This has to be one of the dumbest responses I have ever read.

**DONOTDELETE**
05-19-2002, 05:46 PM
[QUOTE]Originally posted by mikemajesty:
[QB]Since no one else wants to say it, i will. The reason that a girl is judged by the way she looks is because 90% of the time it is an accurate reflection of that girl. Before any females get their panties in a bunch, I go to a school with a 6 to 1 girl to guy ratio. I would say the assumptions that I and my friends make about girls are almost unanimously correct, and when we are wrong, they girl tells us to f*ck off, and thats just as fun. I agree with one thing said though, whisteling at chics is a b*tch move, if you want the girl to notice you and you think she is hot, make a move big boy, dont drive by, whistle, then pop back in the window of your friends car and giggle with them like a bunch of unevolved 2nd graders. Sorry if my post offends anyone, just my .02cents.

And to this pathetic argument: how is it right to say that this guy judged me correctly? I'll have you know that I have never in my life worn any short skirts or low cut tops. I always dress covered up and if it is hot, I will wear a singlet. Who are you to say that this guy had the right to judge my level of intelligence by what I looked like? Who was he to say that the only reason I topped my class was because the professor thought I was hot? Not only is that belittling the Professor's moral standards but it was a severe miscalculation of the amount of hours I spent studying as well as the fact that I am no 'naive' dummy. I am in the business honors program at school and my GPA stands at 3.96. But you already knew that judging from the pic I posted on FA now right? And how the fact that you go to a school with a 6:1 ratio in any way legitimizes your poor argument, I have no clue. As for this brilliant statement:

"But to the original poster, you cant tell me a girl wearing a baby t and some short *** skirt isnt looking for attention, especially at the car shows i go to when its 40 freakin degress outside. Same goes for guys who wear cut of shirts to show off their guns or their tats. Same ish, different smell."

Did I ever say that? If you want to contribute your thoughts that's fine, but if you want to make up original arguments that didn't exist simply to fuel your own fire, then I suggest you need to take some anger management classes. Seriously, I hate caustic responses that are based on nothing but judgmental opinions that have no substance whatsoever. I asked for a males point of view, not a retarded one....

[ 05-19-2002, 07:53 PM: Message edited by: nissanfreak5 ]

Kin_D
05-19-2002, 06:49 PM
i don't think they meant that you wear cut off tops or whatever (in case you think they implied you were hoish) and the guy in your econ class was prolly just a jealous loser, but you don't gotta be dressing slutty to be hot. either way, judging a person based on their looks, however, seems to be in most cases effective.

but if you see the way soceity's turning out, you can't place all the blame on guys for being pigs, i see 13 year old girls running around with "slut" and "porn star" t-shirts, in most cases girls who dress like ho's prolly ain't wholesome.

does this mean it's right for men to act disrespectful towards women? no of course not, but isn't it also the duty of females to look respectable.

in any case, you just gotta except that some people are just a-holes, cuz if that was a chick in your class that felt jealous of you, she'd prolly same the same thing, only not to you, but to everyone in the class besides you. it's been my experience the girls are so much more viscious when it comes to these things, and i am stereotyping now, but most of the girl circles i know will classify other girls or guys, and either shun them or accept them, soley based on looks

and also, guys do treat guys the way they look, you see a big buff guy, you kinda assume that he's not the most intelligent of people, and if you see someone who looks like a nerd, you think they're smart and good with computers, it's just how we are as a species. same way we see fire and think it's hot, it's what we're conditioned to do.

doesn't mean it's a good thing, just means it's there

**DONOTDELETE**
05-19-2002, 07:04 PM
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Kin_D:
[QB]i don't think they meant that you wear cut off tops or whatever (in case you think they implied you were hoish) and the guy in your econ class was prolly just a jealous loser, but you don't gotta be dressing slutty to be hot. either way, judging a person based on their looks, however, seems to be in most cases effective.

but if you see the way soceity's turning out, you can't place all the blame on guys for being pigs, i see 13 year old girls running around with "slut" and "porn star" t-shirts, in most cases girls who dress like ho's prolly ain't wholesome.

does this mean it's right for men to act disrespectful towards women? no of course not, but isn't it also the duty of females to look respectable.

in any case, you just gotta except that some people are just a-holes, cuz if that was a chick in your class that felt jealous of you, she'd prolly same the same thing, only not to you, but to everyone in the class besides you. it's been my experience the girls are so much more viscious when it comes to these things, and i am stereotyping now, but most of the girl circles i know will classify other girls or guys, and either shun them or accept them, soley based on looks

and also, guys do treat guys the way they look, you see a big buff guy, you kinda assume that he's not the most intelligent of people, and if you see someone who looks like a nerd, you think they're smart and good with computers, it's just how we are as a species. same way we see fire and think it's hot, it's what we're conditioned to do.

doesn't mean it's a good thing, just means it's there

How could somebody imply that I was hoe-ish simply by reading my posts on FA? If you read my original post I never said guys were pigs or anyting remotely close to that remark. Now I'm not saying that you said I did, I am just making that CLEAR. I understand the difference between being able to generalise statistics over the wider population and qualitative, isolated experiences. I said in my earlier posts that I do not believe that all guys are like this. As for the comment made earlier (not by you) saying that you 'reap what you sow' - that is exactly why I posted this topic in the first place. I told my little Econ story to highlight the fact that this was not the case. If I dress like a respectable human being, why is it that I am still judged by some guys as achieving success for all the wrong reasons? How should I dress? Should I wear my 'smart outfit' today lest I be judged as an idiot for the day who only tops the class because the professor thinks I am hot? Because seems to me that if I wear anything besides my smart outfit, then I reap what I sow. Where do they sell smart outfits by the way?

[ 05-19-2002, 08:07 PM: Message edited by: nissanfreak5 ]

**DONOTDELETE**
05-19-2002, 08:38 PM
Woo I guess this topic just hit some nerves huh? You did ask for males point of views, and your getting them. So you can't really complain too loud about it. But I find it entertaining when everyone is all ticked about something. So carry on... Oh yeah and have a nice day...

**DONOTDELETE**
05-19-2002, 08:46 PM
You can get smart outfits probably in the mid 1800's. Or maybe shop at a nun's yard sale (no offence). I didn't say comfortable, I said "smart". Even so I dunno how the world today would accept that.

tatsuo2k
05-19-2002, 09:46 PM
Nissanfreak, take it easy.. Nowhere did Mikemajesty say you look hoish or like a slut.. He's talking about women in general..

Full throttle is right too.. If you ask for opinions, you have no right to get offended by what they say.. You can't expect every personal opinion to be good..

The bottom line is this.. A person's taste in clothing generally represents the type of person they are.. GENERALLY.. If you dress to go to a fancy resturant or a night out on the town, you generally are going to look like it right?

As far as your particular original question is concerned however, in my opinion you are a good looking young woman.. You're going to get whistled at, like it or not, by jerks who don't have a big enough set to come up and have a conversation with you..

It doesn't make it right, but it's just the way it is..

**DONOTDELETE**
05-19-2002, 11:34 PM
You reap what you sow. Not meant towards anyone, just a statement. I don't remember who wrote it, but if you dress like a nerd (for example) be expected to be treated like one. However there will always and for ever be the exception.

Just a word to the ladies out there, just be honest with the guys. If you don't like them, make sure they know there will be nothing more than just friendship. No, ladies are not honest (for the most part), unless they are just your friend. I went out (or date, whatever you want to call it, least that's what I thought) with this girl for like 2 months before I found out she's not really interested. She was ready to hang out, sit and watch a movie or party, and was flirty. I am a gentleman, also.

You have no idea what goes on in a guy's mind sometimes. (WOAH, did you see that, man! She was checking me out, when you were just reading his shirt or thinking why didn't he brush his hair) Sometimes, yes, it gets that bad.
And I just realized this has nothing to do with the first intended topic... sorry.

-Mokujin

KenFuji
05-19-2002, 11:47 PM
why do people care what other people you don't know even think???
you did well in school because you worked your *** off? then i don't see the big deal.

i do notice people do treat people different based on their looks regardless of what they say. i am guilty of that myself. that is just the way human nature works. i don't agree with whistling at total strangers. everyone has different stereotypes of people on the way they look and dress. nissanfreak5 when you go out with your friends and see a very pretty, but very sexy clothed girl what is your first thought? i doubt it is "wow look how pretty she is, she must be an honor roll student at columbia doing a study about how clothing effect the perception of people."

if image was not important in human judgement and acceptance, why do you feel you have to dress a certain way? why dress up for a job interview?

yes some men are shallow, but you know the funny thing is? men think the same about women too. but feel you guys also materialistic? funny isn't it?

**DONOTDELETE**
05-20-2002, 06:06 AM
nissanfreak, I know you found it very offensive when that guy said that you only did well b/c of your looks, but you just have to ignore "idiot" people (girls or guys). I myself don't care what others think, nor do I even notice people looking at me (if they are) b/c I'm going on my jolly own way doing whatever I'm doing. Afterall, everyone is "lesser" than me, right? lol (half serious remark, no flames!)

NissanFiend
05-20-2002, 12:28 PM
Image is nothing, thirst is everything, obey your thirst, SPRITE! http://www.freshalloy.com/

congratulations on topping your econ class NissanFreak5. But back on topic; image is not nothing, image is everything. That is the first thing that will be judged, and sometimes quite possibly the last thing. If you truly are confident with who you really are while keeping an open mind to constructive criticism, that kinda crap will not affect(or effect? damn homonyms!) what you do or how you do it.

ok. now, my point of view on your first post to this topic. As you approach closer to the idiots whistling, the whistle is still quite loud, and as you slowly fall away from their sight, the pitch of the whistle slowly fades away along with yourself. I think that is the theory behind the whistling idiot syndrome. Now with "the professor thinks your hot" comment. Maybe he wants the professor to notice him instead of you. He is jealous that he is not getting the attention you're getting, or maybe the comment "the professor thinks you're hot" translates into "i think you're hot but I'm toooo chicken to tell you."

StealthmodeS14
05-20-2002, 01:23 PM
I'd have to agree in saying that the majority of men out there are of the shallow type. I'm all about letting a woman know when I think she's attractive, but whistling is by all means, the wrong way of going about doing it (IMO). I myself am a shy person when it comes to talking to women. This being said, my talking (flirting) is minimal due to the fact that I have a girlfriend. But like others though, I see nothing wrong in casual flirting to spice up what would normally be a boring discussion with a hot chic (me most of the time being the boring one...lol).
Just face the fact that that is the way most guys are and brush it off...if you let it get to as you seem to be doing, then the social life won't seem too much fun anymore if you are constantly awaiting the next guys stupid comment.....

-Bill

**DONOTDELETE**
08-29-2002, 01:36 PM
Okay. Now I am a perfect example of being treated like nothing more than a sex object because of how I look. Where I live, and I am dead serious, every guy excluding a couple think that I am a slut and that I like to be used because of how I look and how I dress. I dont dress like a ***** or anything, just like jeans and cute little shirts and big shoes (only because I am short). But the point is that because I am not ugly guys think that they can use you and trust me it sucks. As far as guys whistling at me, I do take it as a compliment most of the time, no big deal. It's when a guy wants to hang out with you, go to parties with you, convinces you that he likes you to get what he wants and then disappears off the face of the earth. Trust me when I say it makes you feel like the biggest piece of sh*t ever.

And yeah I understand that girls are confussing and be cold heartless bitc*es sometimes. But it is always those girls that get the good guys and us girls that treat people with respect and dont get pi**ed of when your guy hangs out with his friends, were that ones get the jerks that could care less about how he's making you feel and what he is really talking to you for.

Okay I feel better know that I have let my feelings out. I am done..........Debbie (:

WingsNThangs
08-29-2002, 03:11 PM
Battle of the sexes, the endless struggle for understanding. Men are from Mars, women are from Venus.

_Nzo_
08-29-2002, 05:07 PM
</font><blockquote><font class="small[/img]In reply to:</font><hr />
It's when a guy wants to hang out with you, go to parties with you, convinces you that he likes you to get what he wants and then disappears off the face of the earth. Trust me when I say it makes you feel like the biggest piece of sh*t ever.

[/QUOTE]

Why would a guy ever do that? He puts in all the work and gets with you once and then runs away? Wow i guess a lot of guys really are that stupid.

JonCarson
08-29-2002, 05:07 PM
I think that it is human nature to judge people, and yes...that does include "prejudgement".

Even if we haven't met, talked to, or listened to a person we prejudge them based on whatever information we take into our brains. Most of the time, the only information we have is acquired visually. From that, we form a judgement based on what we know about people (or anything else) that look similar.

This is why fake rocks made out of foam fool people and also why flies that look like bees don't get messed with.

Is it right to be prejudiced? It's not that simple. It is the nature of humans and all other animals. Humans do, however, have the ability to reserve judgement at times. We have intelligence beyond other animals that allows us to understand that not all is as it seems. Remember, "Don't judge a book by it's cover."

I do also want to point out that women seem more judgemental about people--especially other women--when it comes to clothing and outward appearances.

How do you, nissanfreak, explain or justify that?

mat_silver
08-29-2002, 06:33 PM
"Do guys treat girls differently just because of what they look like"....uh, yes...and girls do the same thing to guys. This even goes on into mature adulthood...people considered to be 'beautiful' or 'handsome' by today's standards do get treated differently. They get treated better at work (get promotions and other jobs over less attractive people)...it goes on and on. There have been many studies to prove this as well. The Discovery Channel recently ran a 2 hour episode on the definition of beauty in different cultures and how people are judged to those standards. It was quite interesting.

Oh...and the thing about the Economics class...I am sure you earned it...this person was probably just jealous...you should have said..."Yeah, I'm hot AND I'm smart!" So if people do respond to you because you are beautiful, what an advantage in life you have! Use your powers for good though, and not evil! http://forums.freshalloy.com/ubbthreads/images/icons/grin.gif

FUtec2k
08-29-2002, 08:49 PM
It seems no one will ever know why guys whistle at girls from their cars. What is known, however, is why more attractive girls (or guys) get treated nicer (or worse in some cases). It's called natural selection. Look at Gorillas, for example. The leader of their groups is always the largest and possibly most outgoing male. Why? Simple -- "continuation of the species". It is generally though by members of a society (human or animal) that the "healthier" (more attractive, etc) looking individuals will produce better offspring will have a better chance of surviving and, in turn, continue the species. Anyone who has read any of Darwin's (not to be confused with the Darwin awards) books will know exactly what I am talking about.

Basically what I am saying is that the "hottest" guys or girls will always be treated different. Always have been, always will be...

-Balboa
LegendarySnail77@aol.com

mat_silver
08-30-2002, 06:30 AM
While this is certainly true for gorilla's, at least as humans we still require decent behavior from people...an absolute schmuck is not going to get very far no matter how good looking.

_Nzo_
08-30-2002, 11:27 AM
I think youre underestimating the power of beauty.

mat_silver
08-30-2002, 12:53 PM
You're probably right...if you introduce a schmuck to someone too stupid to realize that person is are a schmuck...that's how so many women end up with them.