Fresh Tuesday - March 31st, 2009

Environmental Bigotry: Has Politically Correct Become the New Incorrect?
By Hank Ummer


I will start by saying I am a motor sports fan and car enthusiast, in fact I love all cars; exotics, classics, hot rods, customs, race cars and trucks. I live in West Los Angeles, which I believe is the secret birthplace of all things politically and socially correct. I’m beginning to believe there is a secret society that meets at the local Vegan restaurant, I picture a parking lot filled with Hybrids and bicycles with a large conference room where the (self proclaimed) bohemian yet cautiously trendy crowd meet to discuss their hatred for meat, Capitalism, things made of animal skin, oil and HUMMERS!

I have nothing against Vegans, Hybrids and Bicycles -- I love a good Veggie Burger as much as the next person. My problem is with this tunnel-vision approach to all things politically and socially correct. Do any of these people own leather shoes or belts? Do they eat meat and use electricity? Are they too creative for Television? Have any of them shared music online or burned a copy of a CD for a friend? Do they refuse to travel by airplane? If there are any of these people, I have never met one personally.

I own an ’06 Mercedes Benz CL55, an ’06 Range Rover and (drum roll please) an ’06 Hummer H2. That’s right folks I said it, Hummer. The most politically incorrect vehicle on the road today, a monster, gas-guzzling, I hate the environment Republican-mobile, or at least that’s what people call it. That’s right, as I’m trucking through town you would think I have a sign on my car that says “I hate everyone!” -- I get looks with people nodding their head, I get the rude comments and I even got a note left on the windshield telling me what a horrible person I am for driving such a terrible car.

I have friends who drive Ferrari, Lamborghini and Bentleys. I have been a passenger many times as well as a driver. When you’re in one of these cars, you get looks of approval from everyone. I was even clocked on Sunset in Beverly Hills pushing 120 driving my friend's F430. I thought I was going down for sure, I even started dialing my wife so she knew where to bail me out. But instead the cop just waved with a big smile on his face. Wow, $250k really does buy you happiness and you can be friends with the secret society too, what a wonderful thing!

Then after a little research I discovered something very interesting. Most Ferraris, Lamborghinis and Bentleys get horrible gas mileage. What’s that? Worst than a Hummer? Oh my goodness, what will we ever do if the world finds out? We must keep our beautiful, shiny bubble unscathed. I believe the secret society must have decided that it’s OK to drive an exotic sports car, because they’re pretty and they’re not big and more importantly they’re not Hummers.

I am tired of this double-standard way of thinking. I feel like it’s become fashionable to rant about the environment and complain about anything or anyone that does not fit their mold. The bumper stickers, the nasty looks, the comments and the note on my windshield. I love Ferrari, Lamborghini, Bentleys and Hummers, and for the record I don’t drive my Hummer every day, as I wouldn’t drive an exotic every day either. I’m just sick and tired of this tunnel-vision that shapes our opinions based on what is convenient for everyone, not really what is best for society or the environment. I have supported and even invested in clean energy production. I continually see the “Secret Society” blocking the production of clean energy in the name of environmentalism, but at the same time they’re screaming that we’re not producing enough of it and we’re not doing it fast enough. Make up you minds, do you want clean energy or not?

I don’t want this to turn into a ranting argument about energy, but rather an enlightening discovery of the wonderful world of automobiles. Wake up folks, we will always have Ferraris, Lamorghinis, Bentleys and Hummers. You will never rid the world of gas powered vehicles, even if some day those vehicles are classics sitting in your garage, they will still be there and we will still drive them. So go pick on someone else and make sure whatever fights you choose to pick are backed by some logical and consistent reasoning. Meanwhile, we should all keep on trucking!


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