Top Ten Excuses to Run a Red Light
By Josie Jay Caroll

NOTE: This is a satirical article and FreshAlloy does not condone running red lights or breaking the law.

10. You were frozen in 1890 and just thawed out in order in accordance to your will. Red lights are the least of your worries.

9. You are color blind, and in a cruel twist of fate, your vision is also upside down at random parts of the day.

8. You’ve heard how braking frequently increases toxic emissions and uses more gas. No matter how many accidents you cause or hum an lives you injure, if you can save just one tree…

7. You just realized Lent is over and you know the line at Baskin Robbins will be out the door.

6. In order to break the code to reach the treasure of the Times New Roman prophecy, you must run the 4th red light on the 8th day of the Verdana month during the Tahoma moon.

5. You are a Libertarian and will not be stopped by anything “red.”

4. It’s Opposite Day. Or isn’t it…?

3. The Greaser next to you called you a chicken. And nobody calls you a chicken!

2. You had a really good hair day and want it documented on camera, and on your court summons.

1. Because… everybody’s doing it! (NOTE: no they are not.)

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